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Heart Mind Devil Sea

by WhiteRoomNightmare

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1.
Don't pinch yourself this is not a dream Yes it really is happening So plug it in and turn up to 10 You may never get a chance like this again Can't you see It's not just you who feels it They point and sneer you're not in their club But who the hell made them the judge? Get up and do something that you love Who gives a damn if it's good enough to them Can't you see It's not just me who needs it If you feel like there's something to prove Act like you've nothing to lose Aim high better to reach for the sky Than wonder If you fall when you're learning to fly At least you gave it a try Take heart that you're showing the world Just what you're made of Uncork the bottle unleash the beast You know they're ready so set them free You feel the music deep in your core So throw your head back and Raise those horns Can't you see It's not just you who feels it Stand on the rooftops and scream your name Someone out there will feel the same You hid your light for far too long Now hog the limelight and Play that song Can't you see It's not just me who needs it If you feel like there's something to prove Act like you've nothing to lose Aim high better to reach for the sky Than wonder If you fall when you're learning to fly At least you gave it a try Take heart that you're showing the world Just what you're made of
2.
Under lock and key You sit there willing tears to fall I climbed the tower You wiped my footprints from the wall After all these years you'd think that something might have changed But you're still wrapped in cotton wool and the dragons roar beneath you unslain Watch the pieces fall into place Now you have time to practise your poker face When somebody's pulling your strings You're not real So tell me can you still feel a sting Or are you happy now? Hopeful perseverance can't push together what's forced apart Toxic sterile atmosphere causing friction 'tween head and heart Now I can see you never cared for me at all Keeping up appearances a new miserable experience Watch the pieces fall into place Now you have time to practise your poker face When somebody's pulling your strings You're not real So tell me can you feel anything? The choice was mine, you made it Think of the time you wasted Now and then I think of what might have been I gotta tell you it makes me shiver I've moved onto bigger and better things and burned the clippings from the paper You invite me back in your routine to carry on as if nothing happened As fickle as a fortune telling fish but sorry honey you're no cracker Watch the pieces fall into place Now you have time to practise your poker face When somebody's pulling your strings You're not real So tell me can you feel anything? Watch the pieces fall into place Now you have time to practise your poker face When somebody's pulling your strings You're not real So tell me can you still feel a sting Or are you happy now? Are you happy now? Are you happy now? Are you happy now? Because I'm happy now
3.
Pageturner 03:54
Could've been Should've been Would've been But you lied To me Didn't you? You couldn't choose Between the devil and the sea All of the time I never questioned you were mine Fooled by scheming and device What's out of sight is out of mind, oh In your dreams of monochrome Do you dance on graves or rake the bones Are you happy with the path you chose? Cause the other one you hungered for is Gone gone gone There's no more pages to turn Sigh for the bridges you burned Cold fingers tracing your spine Filed in place, turn out the light Jump on in Over the rim Take a chance that we'll swim Not sink Without a sound You turned around And whispered promises to him Over coffee, cake and sympathy I didn't see the irony Of snowflakes etched into the glass To pretty up the cracks, oh Do you wonder what we're fighting for When the battles escalate to war Or imagine sitting on his horse As you slip the noose to string this boy along So wrong There's no more pages to turn Sigh for the bridges you burned Cold fingers tracing your spine Filed in place, turn out the light I'll bet you tried to have your cake and eat it Satan's advocate has taken the throne Time expired, you made your choice Do you regret it? In the end you settled for what you'd known There's no more pages to turn Sigh for the bridges you burned Cold fingers tracing your spine Filed in place, turn out the light Could've been Should've been Would've been But you lied
4.
Beat your chest Fly your flag You're off to war A somnambulant parade The unconscious know no conscience Lest ye forget your place Your mind is confined by design Constrained by the lines they sold Don't question and you'll have no regrets son You did what you were told You failed the Turing test No sign of intelligence Now Dance on the graves of those they label scum They are your enemy Product of what you learned and where you came from You're programmed to obey March to the beat of someone else's drum The melody of slavery One more perfect little soldier Thumb print head till you are dead This is what you were always meant to do Or so they'd have you believe Your servitude will reap their gratitude Oh the tangled web they weave Punch drunk and scared you look to your corner All pleas for mercy are ignored They wash their hands as they give the order To fall upon your sword Congealing, growing cold That's what the future hold when you Dance on the graves of those they label scum They are your enemy Product of what you learned and where you came from You're programmed to obey March to the beat of someone else's drum The melody of slavery One more perfect little soldier Thumb print head till you are dead Left 2 3 4 Right 2 3 4 Left 2 3 4 Right 2 3 4 Left 2 3 4 Right 2 3 4 Die Dance on the graves of those they label scum They are your enemy Product of what you learned and where you came from You're programmed to obey March to the beat of someone else's drum The melody of slavery One more perfect little soldier Thumb print head till you are dead
5.
Bluebottle 03:26
Suck Suck it all up Don't waste a drop You know you've a reputation to uphold Win You'll never win That's such a shame Because you always like to be on top Dream Follow your dreams Chase down those dreams Meanwhile your nightmares are pursuing you All You know it all You think you're perfect darling But you're not indispensable Sail without a rudder From one mess to another Feigning independence Don't realise you're helpless Pass the open window Cause the devil's better you know Get yourself entangled Then die like a blue arsed fly Jump Jump right on in Mock those who question Why you never wait for instruction Black Down goes the black You sink the black Before the colours and forfeit the game Sweet Sticky and sweet It all looked so good Until you touched it and it turned to this Waste Wasting away You life's such a waste Counting the days down until the end Sail without a rudder From one mess to another Feigning independence Don't realise you're helpless Pass the open window Cause the devil's better you know Get yourself entangled Then die like a blue arsed fly Buzz buzz buzz Buzz buzz buzz Buzz buzz buzz Buzz buzz buzz Sail without a rudder From one mess to another Feigning independence Don't realise you're helpless Pass the open window Cause the devil's better you know Get yourself entangled Then die like a blue arsed fly Buzz buzz buzz Buzz buzz buzz Buzz buzz buzz Buzz buzz buzz
6.
Almost there You see the summit With both hands Reach out and touch but Watch your step It looks so easy One false move You're tumbling downwards Rising star Chosen one Promised all It seems you were bluffing Crashed and burned No return You'll never learn We thought you were something All your plans All your dreams All your goals Add up to nothing Hardest climb Shortest fall Ended all A mountain to nothing No contest You're bound for glory Effortless The same old story Arrogance The chink in your armour Ego bruised You fell at the last Rising star Chosen one Promised all It seems you were bluffing Crashed and burned No return You'll never learn We thought you were something All your plans All your dreams All your goals Add up to nothing Hardest climb Shortest fall Ended all A mountain to nothing We hold the power We set the bar So high that you can never reach it Blow up your hopes Holding a pin Daring you to fly Shaking your hand We secretly plan To trip you up and stick the boot in Building you up Tearing you down Cause you don't belong Where gods reside Rising star Chosen one Promised all It seems you were bluffing Crashed and burned No return You'll never learn We thought you were something All your plans All your dreams All your goals Add up to nothing Hardest climb Shortest fall Ended all A mountain to nothing
7.
Sitting pretty in your shoes You can't see beyond yourself Queuing up the next excuse Feeling powerless to help You can only do so much When there's so many others Worse off than you You could ease their burden If you'd only try But the plug has been pulled And the well has run dry What can I say From miles away? What can I do? This much is true I'm glad it's not me But I'm sorry it's you Close the door on the outside world But the darkness still seeps in Push notifications Breaking news Under constant bombardment Survivor's guilt Never having lived Through this vivid horror show Power down But you'll find no respite The drama is over The trauma lives on What can I say From miles away? What can I do? This much is true I'm glad it's not me But I'm sorry it's you What can I say From miles away? What can I do? This much is true I'm glad it's not me But I'm sorry it's you
8.
Reaching for something that I never had Sensing a killing, you held out your hand I grasped it tightly the way that you'd planned This is how it all began Fishing for humans to batter and gut Lonely and gullible, ripe for the cut Manipulating and gaining their trust Hook line and sinker, you caught yourself a chump Sold me your story and now you sell mine Hooked on your lies, you were biding your time You set me up for maximum exposure Drafting your ransom to sardonic laughter I believed You deceived Let me see What you have on me Crippled by stage fright or too camera shy Never a signal, you can't perform live Always a reason to stay out of sight I wish I had hid from you I added colour to your black and white Plot twists and turns like a knife in my side Sick of the drama and desensitised I grew determined to rid myself of you Sold me your story and now you sell mine Hooked on your lies, you were biding your time You set me up for maximum exposure Drafting your ransom to sardonic laughter Joining the dots it just doesn't add up Too many gaps now I'm calling your bluff Missed ultimatums conclusive enough Checkmate's the end of the game Beneath the mountain or up in the clouds Wherever you say you are, you're never found Back in the woodwork or under that rock Get the hell back whence you came I believed You deceived Let me see What you have on me Told them your story, well now I tell mine Fell for your lines once but then I got wise You stick your head up and I will expose you I'll make you suffer from now to hereafter
9.
Tabula Rasa 04:20
How can I be introspective? There's nothing there to see Under the microscope The lowest form of life on land or sea Enjoy the spectacle My self esteem has gone I've plumbed the depths and come up empty Tell me that I'm wrong I bring nothing to the table And take more than my share This empty vessel makes no sound So fill me with your noise I yearn for company Yet sit there silently Absorbing everything around me Giving nothing back There are no marks on this blank slate The words I write, you will dictate Why should I struggle to create When I can steal from you instead Suck the lifeblood from your veins He who gives shall never gain But still the emptiness remains Don't ask me for a story I can't even make one up They whisper Mr. Boring I hear them well enough Barbed tongues behind their teeth Truth hurts but still I seethe I've locked the door and turned the lights off But I'm still at home Like a roach trapped in the spotlight I wish the earth would swallow me Small talk and conversations kill And I'm dying on my feet If only I could change Be recognised without the fame A shadow longing for the darkness Where it can't be seen There are no marks on this blank slate The words I write, you will dictate Why should I struggle to create When I can steal from you instead Suck the lifeblood from your veins He who gives shall never gain But still the emptiness remains There is no me in me There are no marks on this blank slate The words I write, you will dictate Why should I struggle to create When I can steal from you instead Suck the lifeblood from your veins He who gives shall never gain But still the emptiness remains There is no me in me There's only you
10.
The Torch 03:56
I rolled a six so you could start But that doesn't mean I'm done I have a future, present, past The same as you my son Behold these cracked and calloused hands The signs of lessons learned So wait your turn to seize the torch Or get your fingers burned Fuck the natural order of things I'll teach you to fly while clipping your wings Witness my paternal decree To live your life vicariously through me I lay the tracks for you to follow Or branch off on your own I light the way and cast a shadow I am no rolling stone Setting examples good and bad And I'll continue on Resisting time and slow decline A fleshed out skeleton Fuck the natural order of things I'll teach you to fly while clipping your wings Witness my paternal decree To live your life vicariously through me Surrender the fire that burns in my hands A white dwarf conceding its light to the dead Spitting out vulture bones I'll make my stand I'll bite till they pull the last tooth from my head Fuck the natural order of things I'll teach you to fly while clipping your wings Witness my paternal decree To live your life vicariously through me
11.
Stay 04:35
You made me doubt myself So much I gave you control Of idle hands and addled brains The breeding ground for wicked things Shackled to the misery Of neverlasting victories Eggshells crushed beneath my feet How I wish that you could bleed You wanted more, I gave you more It's not enough as usual How dare you Criticise, antagonise, apologise again And then say I need you Stay with me Stay here with me Incubus inside o me Growing exponentially I take what I can get for free I know I'll pay up in the end It's a neverending farce To make believe that I'm in charge Blackened heart and pallid skin Sallow fingers digging in Why do I reach out for you When you're the one who put me here? God damn you Push away then pull me back I know that it's insane But I can't condemn you Stay with me Stay here with me Why do I reach out for you When you're the one who put me here? God damn you Criticise, antagonise, apologise again And then say I need you Stay with me Stay here with me Stay with me Stay here with me Stay Why won't you Stay Why won't you Stay Why won't you Stay
12.
I gave you life and watched you grow Adding strings to your bow Out of nothing came a spark And now you're closest to my heart Draining and sustaining me But is this healthy? Stubbornly refusing help I need to do this by myself I alone this cross to bear Why should I share when no-one cares? As if they'd ever understand That you complete me Cutting cords and apron strings The more I give, the more you cling If you love them set them free And reminisce on memories But I'm still holding on I can't lose you I pushed you out into the waves To no applause and no acclaim No ripples heard, no echoes seen You disappeared without a trace Let them take you where they may At least I loved you Giving up and letting go Keeping busy fills the hole I turn at every open door But I can't hold you anymore It seems like you were never there I hope that someone hears you Starting over, moving on To build a bridge, a verse, a song This silent brooding bitter mess Is feathering an empty nest Cause I'm the lonely one The only one who'll miss you when you're gone

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released October 6, 2023

All music & lyrics by P Anketell

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WhiteRoomNightmare Belfast, UK

WhiteRoomNightmare is a one-man rock/metal musical project from Belfast in Northern Ireland.

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